Concerns and issues (part one)

I recently decided to go back and dig through my past blogs, and include them here..putting them in order of a timeline that begins back in August of 2007 up to the present, so that it gives an idea of what personal and social issues have weighed on me enough to put them to paper(so-to-speak)…

The backstory (originally posted August 2007)

some of my new friends here have been asking to hear my story, some of you already know it… so here goes…

I was born in Olympia, Washington (named Time magazine’s “hippest town in the West” back in the 90s), and raised all over the Puget and South Sound area growing up.

Some of my earliest memories are of spending each summer with my dad’s parents in Eastern Washington (grandpa was a preacher, and grandma stood by his side), who were missionaries to the Spokane Tribe of Native Americans. Some of my earliest crushes were on the little Indian girls from the bible camp we used to attend during the summer. I remember the tabernacle meetings, complete with sawdust floors, old wooden pews, and even older hymnals…and the incredible people who would attend these good, old-fashioned bible meetings on warm, summer nights.

My parents separated and divorced when i was pretty young, and from that point on…the relationship between my dad and i became more distant and strained, as the relationship between he and my mom wasn’t all that great. From about age 7, i saw him less and less, and mom and i moved a number of times in the few years that followed their divorce. We ended up back in oly right about the time of the bicentennial (‘76), and lived within close proximity to most of her family, including my grandma fox (one of the most incredible Christian women i ever knew).

We started attending church around this time, and before the move back to oly..would even drive down from seattle on the weekends just to attend church services with the family. So, i’ve always kinda been raised in and around the church, and was baptized as a kid as well…but never really knew a full and real relationship with the Lord.

As i started junior high, mom and i moved to Boise, Idaho with her best friend and her two kids…and we stayed there for about two and a half years. great years. While there, she worked for HP, and i attended the private christian school that was part of the church that we attended. our pastor was Roland Buck, the man who talked with angels (his book Angels On Assignment was a best-seller) and the church was on fire with the Holy Spirit. Things changed, mom decided she wanted us to be closer to grandma and family, so a couple of days before christmas of ‘79…we moved back to oly.

Five months later, mt. st. helens blew, and i thought it was the end of the world…lol (not really). That summer, she made a re-connection with an old flame from high school and good friend of the family, and within a short period of time..they married, and i was part of a new family…complete with a step-bro and sis. Things were ok for awhile, and we bought and cleared a decent-sized piece of property south of Tumwater, wa…i remember hauling and burning scotchbroom for what seemed like ages every saturday afternoon that was decent weather-wise.

When i started high school, it was the first time in my life that i’d been at one school for more than two years in a row, kinda nice. Freshman year, i became our school’s mascot (the thunderbird), sophomore year i won the state championship for best mascot. Through this time, i’d become one of our school’s “new waver/punk rockers” as new wave was just getting off the ground here in the states, and was part of a very small demographic in a school consisting primarily of jocks, rockers, and preps…lol all the while, still attended church services with the family, and even played a synthesizer my mom had bought for me in the church choir alongside my grandma (one of the best pianists i ever heard)…but, i wasn’t walking with the Lord really at that point…just giving it alot of lip service, at best.

I got into the usual amount of trouble as a teenager, and mom did her best to keep a rein on me, but by the time my senior year rolled around…i decided i was ready to move out and experience the world on my own. I know i broke her heart that day… moved in with a buddy’s girlfriend, and that lasted for a few months, was working and going to school, and bounced around from place to place until graduation was over, but by that time…i’d already discovered the big, mysterious playground that was seattle in the early to mid-80s.

I was getting deeper and deeper into things i didn’t know anything about, and experimented with an alternative lifestyle, and got deeper into trouble (still have a nice scar on my bottom lip after all these years to remind me) by getting into nightclubs at age 19, and associating myself primarily with people of a gay, lesbian, or alternative/clubkid way of life. This continued pretty much through the remainder of the decade, and by ‘85, i’d already messed around with lsd, and began selling it, among other designer drugs that came my way, anything to be numb and make a buck…God forgive me.

I was spending my time in clubs between seattle and portland, oregon on a regular basis every chance i could…everything has a season, but there has to come a time when you just stop…you’d think, right? By ‘90, i’d started doing crystal meth intraveneously, and kept that up for about 6 years, all the while barely holding down jobs (good jobs, though), and going through the motions saying “yeah, i’m a Christian and God knows where my heart is…” how many times did i fool myself into thinking it was ok, too many to count… after a number of years of drugging, and selling, and being part of every horrible thing that goes along with that lifestyle…not to mention the countless people (mostly guys) that i shared my soul with on an intimate level, it finally came to a grinding halt in ‘96 when i got popped for drinking and driving, and got pulled over with a decent amount of marijuana in the car.

That night probably saved my life, because had it not been for that…i’d probably not be here to share this story with you. i went through almost 2 years of probation and rehab, and somewhat re-dedicated my life to the Lord at that point.

My mom, who had moved away to New York for about ten years, had decide to move back to washington…and so, we decided to give our relationship another chance, as it had been strained beyond belief over the years…and for awhile it was good, but because of my unwillingness to change…became strained again, and we went our separate ways for awhile… over the last few years, i continued on with things as usual, claiming to be Christian, yet continuing to live in the lifestyle, and never really doing anything about it, never making that step to truly walk with the Lord, to trust in Him, and to follow Him… and then, in july of 2007…that all changed.

I have never experienced the Lord and His unchanging love for me in the way that i have since then. Even being raised in the church, and giving all that lip service, and going through the motions…i never truly knew and trusted and communed with Jesus up until just recently…and i’m never turning back! Praise the Lord for being as steadfast and patient and loving and forgiving as He is… He gave His life for me, and i thank Him each and every day.

This really is just a nutshell, short version of the whole, sordid story…but i hope for those of you that were wondering, i hope you get the gist. the Lord knows the worst of it and i’ll leave it at that…

I want to close this with a great passage from Ephesians 5:8… “for you were once darkness, but now you are children of the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness…”

Ephesians 5:15… “Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

I love Him so much, and want only to do what He wants me to do, and to go where He leads… God bless you all so much, and if i can ever be there in prayer or in time of need, don’t hesitate to ask… check out “What If I Stumble” by DC Talk when ya get a chance…

Getting Started (originally posted August 2007

I figured i’d take a few to give ya bit more background…and then, of course, i will add more soon. I am really stoked i found this, actually through a pastor friend of mine’s site, i’m gonna have to have a chat with him to ask why he never mentioned this one…hmmmmmm;) anyways, in a nutshell…from the northwest, born and raised.

I’ve been in retail and retail management for years, but started a new chapter in my life in July  when i fully gave my life to the Lord (see other blogs i’ll post later today), so just at a point in my life where i’m really seeking His will and purpose in my life every day, and i honestly, have no idea where He’s gonna lead me, but i’m following Him, without a doubt.

I was a nightclub dj for 23 years, heavily involved in the club scene and all the evils that went along with it. was also involved in an alternative lifestyle, and heavily into substance abuse…and what an amazing God we have!

I’m here to tell you that there is full deliverance from all of these things when we surrender everything to Him, repent, ask forgiveness, and start to walk in the paths that He leads us on…that’s why i’m completely open to wherever He leads, as i spent so much of my life doing things my way, and messing it up royally, and now, all i wanna do is share with others that are going through what i came out of that there’s absolute and total freedom in the healing blood of Jesus Christ!

Wow, ok… as stan lee wrote, ’nuff said for now love ya all, and look very forward to creating some new eternal friendships and relationships here with all of you God bless you much and have a great weekend… yer bro in Christ, d